Part 48: Scaling the Scraper (3)

Our quest to the 100th floor continues. Like the previous floor, there's some new enemies to run into.







First up is an ordinary Mecha-Lion. This guy's almost boring at this point.



Oh boy, it's a robot lion that can breathe fire on the party! That's so original and interesting at this point!

NOT!







Pigmask Colonels are also abound here, though unchanged from its appearance as the fake-out final boss of Chapter 7.





The Colonels do know the answers to Trivia Cards 2 and 3, though, which is pretty important because





The Return of Octobot also does stuff.



It will try to steal stuff, the jerk, though I was lucky enough that it didn't work on me.





Ape worked on Earthbound and eventually became Creatures, Inc., which worked on Mother 3, some Mario Picross games, and some Pokemon spin-offs. At least that's what Wikipedia says, which is as much effort as I'm willing to use on an answer to a trivia card in a video game.



Instead, I'd rather talk about this King Burger some more.







Next up is an Upgraded Robot. It probably does stuff, but whatever it does is apparently so boring that I didn't bother screenshotting any attacks. The handbook says it has forgetful gas, so, uh, there you go?

It does have that 1/32 chance of rare loot, in this case the Horus Bandana, the highest defense of any head gear in the game, available for Duster and Salsa (even though Salsa's not playable outside of Chapter 3 and that very brief moment in Chapter 7 where you don't even have to fight anything with him).



The Nuclear Reactor Robot will explode unless you disable its explosion device.



To do that, turn it around with a Siren Beetle and attack it once. It also isn't a threat while turned around because it's turned around.





Magic Cake is the strongest of the magic sweets, restoring 50 PP. Savor every bite.





This is the first and only weapon Boney gets. It also kinda looks like a penis. I know it's a bone, but come on, just look at the thing.





Also, here's Return of Octobot's music, because. I never fought the Nuclear Robot Reactor by itself.

I still don't know if I know the differences between the Mild and Spicy versions of this song. There's still songs where I'm just guessing whether it's the right version or not. You'd think I know by now, but a couple of the early enemies I still had to hunt for five minutes to find the proper song for them. It's great when playing, but more of a pain when Let's Playing.





Sagittarius is the best of the bracelets, giving ten more defense than the Scorpio ones. I give it to Duster, or maybe Kumatora. It doesn't matter.



Using this will make you into a "nice person" who respects Master Porky from the bottom of your heart. Use it until you're red in the face, and you'll feel happy and revitalized as a "nice person". Unlike with regular hot springs, all you have to do is go inside a green-colored capsule, which makes it very simple and convenient!





So, there's a ton of people and animals in here, many with rather unique sprites. Even though I just went out of my way to make a new sprite for a woman whose only difference between another sprite is brown eyes, I'm not going to make thirty-something sprites for one-line things. Instead, I'll just write the name out. Obviously, if you don't care about seeing thirty-something people say wonderful things about Porky, feel free to skip all these.

I'm also going to omit all the (*glub* *glub*) and (*bloop* *bloop*) stuff because it's annoying to type out.

Sheep: Thank you, Master Porky.
Chicken: Just the idea that a chicken like me can be useful to Master Porky in some way makes me oh-so-happy.
Guy: Someday I'm gonna be a Pigmask...and make a world of Master Porky, by Master Porky, for Master Porky...
Guy: Thiiiis feeeeels soooo niiice~.
Man: Let's have a grand ol' time in Master Porky's city of memories...
Pig: Reconstructed... with... a lion... So happy...
Man: It's so much fun... (*glub* *glub*) This city is so much fun...
Man: Master Porky is wonderful... Master Porky is cool...
Cow: I'm gonna be a wonderful steak for Master Porky...
Man: Let's sing... Let's sing a song praising Master Porky...
Man: I am well... All thanks... All thanks to him... It is all thanks to Master Porky.
Guy: Bleergh. I feel sick. I shouldn't have gotten in here.
Sheep: Reconstruct animals... Make ferocious...
Man: O-oink...
Guy: An alligator-dog combination...
Man: Spankety spankety.
Man: Hurrah for Master Porky...!
Pig: I want (*glub* *glub*) to be a Pigmask...
Guy: Master Porky takes very good care of us. *spit* *spit* *spit* *saliva* *spit* *spit*
Chicken: Ahh... This feels nice and warm... I find I'm gradually starting to like Master Porky. Heheh.
Sheep: I think I want to be reconstructed...
Man: Master Porky gave me freedom... I'm free...
Man: I never brush my teeth! Woo!
Man: I'm gonna reconstruct all uncool animals...
Man: Yum!
Man: Happyhappyhappyhappy I'm so happy today...
Guy: Everything ever is thans to Master Porky.
Sheep: I know I'm a sheep, but do you think I can become a "nice person" this way...?
Man: Don't bother trying to struggle. The final day is coming.



Interesting that there's no women in these tanks.



While walking to the researcher I forgot to talk to, I learned Healing Omega. This uses Healing Gamma on the entire party, which is handy for enemies that make you cry or reviving a dead team.



Soak in it until you're red in the face and your personality will turn gentle and make you into a "nice person" who loves Master Porky.



You appear quite exhausted there, Lucas! But the real fun is just about to begin! Alright! Climb up those stairs just ahead! C'mon! Don't disappoint me, now! Ahahahaha!

Alright, let's get out of this crazy place.





The next room is a pretty chill place that gives me Chrono Trigger vibes for some reason. There's also another save frog in case one in a green brainwashing tank creeps you out.

Once we climb up a bit, there's the next room, which...





Well, alright then.



I've changed my hat, so perhaps you don't recognize me, but I was the chauffeur of that difficult-to-drive and far-too-long limousine. I'm pleased to see that you've made it this far. I will now determine if you're fit to meet with Master Porky or not. Kindly follow me, if you would.



It's not a final dungeon without a game show round. Fortunately, no trivia, though we're covered if it ever comes up.





No advancing until we do this, of course.



So I will use this "Super Whack-a-Mole" game to judge whether or not you're fit to be a wonderful playmate of his.



Whoever hits the most moles with their mental "A Button" hammers will win the game. Master Porky absolutely adores that word: "win". If the words "indulge" and "humor" mean anything to you... you'll know what to do. But, if you try to throw the match, Master Porky will be very displeased indeed.



Sounds simple enough.

Hit the old guy in the helmet and you'll be zapped. Do try to be careful.



Let's bring out Master Lucas's competitor...Master Mini-Porky!





Yeah, like we're going to compete against Porky himself. We're going up against a robot version of him, obviously.

Ready, Master Mini-Porky?



The game shows Mini-Porky hit a couple moles before fading out.



All right!





Now it's our turn. I hope you figured out the gimmick to these games by now.



The idea is to make it competitive enough that Porky barely wins. If you know this, these are pretty easy as Mini-Porky's not that good at these games. This gives you enough time to talk to your party.

Does "indulge" mean we're not allowed to win...?
What does this "indulge" thing mean?



So the key is to hit nine moles, just enough to barely lose. You can hit all nine quickly and just stand there the rest of the time, it's all good.



Don't hit the old men either. I don't know why the guys in the helmets are considered old men, that's something the game just decided on its own.









Master Lucas's record! Tadah! Total moles hit: 9!



You've won the intense match by the razor-thing margin of one mole! What a wonderful game! Truly heart-stopping!







Another Chrono Trigger corridor and save frog.







You'll both start from a Purple Bridge at the same time, and the first to reach the other side wins. You understand the rules, yes?

Think we got it by now.

Also, if you have the two words "indulge" and "divulge"... Perhaps the former would be the one to focus on, if you catch my drift...



Yeah, we got it by now.

Okay! When you're ready, go to your starting position!

We've got time to talk to people before starting.





Whew!



I dunno why, but this seems really stupid...
Is this really what we should be doing...?



All right! On your mark, get set, go! Go! Go!





Mini-Porky is even slower than you'd guess.





This is a joke.







You can run to the end, wait thirty seconds right before the finish, and make your final step right after the slow butt Mini-Porky wins. Porky's too dumb to know the difference apparently.





You win the intense match by a nose! What a truly fantastic race! That was a match for the ages! Now, then! Let us move on to the third and final game!

Another stairway, and...





Guess what this one is.

The final game is... "To Whom Goes the Boom?!" All right. Here is a quick explanation of the rules. Use your mental "A Button" air pump to quickly inflate your balloon until... BOOM! The first to pop his balloon wins.



Yes.

Then please go to your position.

More chatter.

The fact this Porky guy is forcing us to do all this stuff makes me feel like he's a lot stupider and pettier than we thought.
So this is the final "indulgence", huh?

Duster's pretty sharp, that guy.



OK, good.





This means that you have a very good chance of coming from behind to win it all, Master Lucas!





I'm not even bothering to play the music for this one. Just spam A until it's big. You want to be the last size before Mini-Porky pops his. If you don't know, just follow Mini-Porky's lead.



OH NO I LOST AGAIN HOW CAN I EVER COMPETE WITH PORKY OH WOE IS ME.



You're so young, yet you've mastered so much! I hereby deem you fit to meet Master Porky. Now, then! Please go and pay Master Porky a wonderful visit!





This stairway is even fancier, and even has a sofa we can rest on to restore our HP and PP.

As you may expect, this is a good idea to do.





Uh... Master Porky, I presume?



This is the REAL 100th floor that you wanted to come to oh-so-badly!

FINALLY.

Again, I welcome you, my beloved, detestable pests. I was the one who invited you here. So you're free to come inside if you wish. It's just, I've given orders to let no one enter my room to that little attack toy you see right here. Who knows, maybe this is where we'll say goodbye, even though I invited you here.











Meet the Natural Killer Cyborg. The battle theme for this one is pretty sweet, so listen to it.



You know the drill by now. Shields and buffs/debuffs. There's actually no shield on this guy to start with for once.





The Handbook suggests using Counter Omega since this guy has some pretty strong attacks and high offense, and reflecting them helps in lowering his massive 7548 HP.





Problem is, when you add three levels of Offense Down and two levels of Defense Up and throw shields on top of that, his offense suddenly becomes significantly less impressive, to the point where the fight becomes kind of a joke.





That said, the N.K. Cyborg has ways around it, like lightning attacks against three people. Of course, the Franklin Badge still works against lightning.





This hurts a bit more, but at this point we have Lifeup Omega, so it's no big deal.





It can also put up a Counter shield. Shield Snatcher is as invaluable as always.



I throw some Lighting Gamma at him. I'm at the point where I'd probably rather attack with Kumatora unless she's using Starstorm or something to save her PP for emergency Lifeup Betas. Her physical attacks are pretty decent after all these buffs.



Yeah, I kinda made this fight too easy.



The N.K. Cyborg can also numb people. Oh no, I have to waste Kumatora's turn casting Healing Alpha!



This is the N.K. Cyborg's big attack.









It's a physical attack though, and again, so many buffs and debuffs that it's actually weaker now than its missiles.



Hell, look at the damage I'm dealing with physical attacks. I'm just tearing through this guy now.



At this point, I use regular Shield Omega just because the extra damage from Counter is so small now it's not worth the extra PP.



I didn't even make the thing cry, though I'm sure it's crying in the inside over how pathetic it is.



This was just embarrassing. This is one of the final bosses of the game, and I utterly humiliated it. Utterly pathetic.

Of course, if you don't use buffs, then this guy will be pretty scary and you'll be throwing healing food and PSI left and right to keep up with this guy. So, uh, sorry to you guys who had trouble with this boss.



Anyway, we're finally ready to meet Porky. Maybe. We'll see next time.